“Virtual Tour” of my new office

Now that I’m nicely settled into my new office, located in the Clinique Psy-Sante, I’ve taken a few pictures to share with you. I truly enjoyed planning out the space, and filling it with furnishings and decor pieces that I feel create a warm, inviting, and zen-like atmosphere.

Space is very important, especially in the work that I do.  It’s important that both therapist and client feel safe and “enveloped” by the room around them, as this room is the place where pain is shared, and hope is born. Let me know in the comments what you think!

15 Tips for Holiday Eating Without Weight Gain

by Michelle May, M.D.

Do you anticipate the holidays but dread the “inevitable” holiday weight gain? Do your holiday events revolve around eating more than the meaning, people, presents, decorations, or travel?

Avoiding holiday weight gain and eating healthy during the holidays can be a real challenge unless you have a great strategy.  These 15 holiday eating tips will help you avoid holiday weight gain and enjoy the season more while eating less.

1.  It is easier to get distracted from signals of physical hunger and satiety at social gatherings, especially if food is the main event. Make an effort to pay close attention to your body’s signals.

2.  Be a food snob. Skip the store-bought goodies, the dried-out fudge and the so-so stuffing. If the food you select doesn’t taste as good as you expected, stop eating it and choose something else. Think of how much less you’d eat if you only ate things that tasted fabulous!

3.  Think of your appetite as an expense account. How much do you want to spend on appetizers or the entree? Do you want to save some room for dessert? Go through this process mentally to avoid eating too much food and feeling uncomfortable for the rest of the evening.

4.  Pace your eating prior to the event so you’ll be hungry but not famished at mealtime. But please, ignore the old diet advice of “eat before you go to a party so you won’t be tempted.” That is absurd! You want to be hungry enough to enjoy your favorites.

5.  Socialize away from the sight of the food. People who tend to overeat are “food suggestible” so just hanging around food causes them to eat more than they need.

6.  Survey all of the food at a buffet before making your choices. Choose the foods that you really want most at that time and remind yourself that you can have the other foods at a later time.

7.  If the food is so special, give it your full attention rather than eating on autopilot. Eat mindfully by reducing distractions and sitting down to eat - even if it’s just a cookie. Appreciate the appearance and aroma of your food and savor one small bite at a time by putting your fork down. You’ll eat less food but enjoy it more.

8.  If the food doesn’t taste as good as you expected, stop eating it and choose something else.

9.  Since the duration of the meal tends to be extended at social events, you may need to have your plate taken away (or put your napkin on it) once you are satisfied to avoid nibbling unconsciously.

10. Be aware of the effects of alcohol on your food intake. And don’t forget that many beverages contain calories too.

11. Be cautious of “obligatory eating” - avoid eating just because it is on the table, on your plate, because you paid for it, it’s free, or because someone made it. Deal with Food Pushers with a polite but firm, “No thank you.” If you’re concerned about hurting their feelings, ask for the recipe or a small portion to take home with you for another meal.

12. It’s common to have candy and snacks lying all over the place this time of year. Avoid indulging in food just because it’s there. Grazing unconsciously leads to extra calories that you probably won’t even remember enjoying.

13. Before having a cookie, a piece of fudge or other holiday treat that was laid in the break room, check your hunger level. If you’re hungry and you choose a favorite food to satisfy you, remember to sit down and eat it mindfully - no guilt.

14. At restaurants, the portion sizes are usually huge - almost always “two for the price of one.” Request appetizer portions, co-order and co-eat with your dining partner, or have the server package up your meal to go as soon as you feel satisfied. Remember, “super-size” is no bargain if you didn’t need that much food in the first place!

15. Look for opportunities for physical activity - take a walk after dinner to enjoy the lights, take a few laps around the mall before it opens to do some window shopping or take guests to local attractions.

Most importantly, delight all of your senses.  Enjoy the company, the atmosphere, the entertainment, and the traditions as much, if not more, than the food.

The Makeover Show: Post-Show Update and Pics

A few weeks ago I participated in The Makeover Show, which was a great experience.  Besides being loads of fun, it was great to connect with so many wonderful people who are into “makeovers” - especially of the personal growth kind.  I had some fun giveaways, including fridge magnets, green apples that “matched” my table, and a raffle to win a copy of my favourite emotional eating book, “Breaking Free From Emotional Eating” by Geneen Roth. Check out the pictures below:

Me at my table, with my freebies and giveaways.  I loved the way my “Makeover” banner turned out!

Kudos to my sister (a former event planner) for helping out with the colour scheme and decoration!

Deep in conversation!

The Benefits of Yoga: Good for Mind and Body!

You’ve certainly heard time and again that yoga is good for you. All that stretching and breathing calms you down and makes you feel better. But other than “making you feel good,” what are the health benefits associated with practicing yoga?

More often than not, we tend to perceive yoga as a meditation practice that helps us physically - to balance, to stretch, etc. But yoga is also a practice that improves the well-being of our mental state. In fact, “yoga” is derived from the same root as the word “yoke,” referring to the process of yoking the mind and body together.  It is in combining both of these that the most benefit is derived from the practice of yoga. 

Physical Benefits

* Breathing: most of us breathe very differently than we should. As infants, we breathe in by expanding our bellies, and breathe out by retracting our bellies. As we age, we actually reverse this process, and we tend to breathe in a very shallow manner.  In fact, we very rarely truly give any thought at all to how we breathe. Pranayama, a yoga breathing exercise, actually helps to give thought to “how” we breathe and teaches us how to do it properly.

* Muscle tone and strength: many yoga poses require you to support yourself and balance on your limbs. This in turn increases your strength. Thus, more strength equals stronger, leaner muscles.

* Pain prevention: whether or not you have pain to begin with, yoga can help treat both current chronic pain and prevent future pain that can occur as we age. Back pain, for instance, is a very common as most of our everyday lives are spent sitting in a car or at a computer desk. This is turn can lead to tightness and spinal compression which yoga is excellent in helping to relieve.

* Flexibility: stretching out your wound-up and tight body will undoubtedly increase your flexibility. Areas of the body that are given an increase in range-of-motion through yoga are commonly the hips, shoulders, back and hips.

* Health matters: scientific research confirms that yoga has a great impact on the health of participants; more specifically the physical and emotional factors contributing to heart disease. These studies found that weight loss, belly fat, blood cholesterol, hypertension, and insulin resistance (among others) were all greatly improved through the practice of yoga.

Mental Benefits

* A sense of mental calmness: the practice of breathing, and the subtle and serene movements of yoga allow the mind to “think” calm. Focusing so intently on what your body is doing, and ONLY that, allows a sense of peace to flow through your body and mind.

* Stress reduction: one of the best benefits of all - yoga is an ideal stress buster. Because yoga requires you to be “in the moment,” focusing your mind and body on simply just “mind and body,” makes all of the everyday details melt away.  Yoga helps to put your troubles aside as well as put things into perspective.

* Body awareness: yoga requires you to move in ways you may not have imagined you could. As a result, you become much more aware of what you body can do, what it’s limitations are, and what can be improved upon.  And being more in touch with your body means paying attention to loving and care for it too.

* Self awareness: many individuals who practice the art of yoga find that they learn a lot about themselves; who they are and how they feel, or rather who they want to be and how they want to feel. Since it is a focused art, it is truly about focusing on “you,” which in our daily lives, more often than not, gets overlooked.

So what are you waiting for? Yoga is the perfect activity to help you become curious about who you are, focus your attention, and in turn improve your sense of well-being in ways you can’t even imagine.  Click the banner below to get started with your yoga practice today.

The Mind-Body Connection

“I think; therefore I am” - we’ve all heard this powerful quote by Descartes. But how many of us stop to think about what it actually means?  Is it possible not only that our thoughts are who we “are” inside our minds, but can actually influence who we “are” in our bodies as well?  And if so, should we be paying closer attention to what our minds, and bodies, are trying to tell us?  This month’s article focuses on how the body and mind are connected, and, some might say, inseparable.

Somatization

Just today a client came in describing an unpleasant odor she came across while on the bus (N.B.: I had her permission to share this anecdote).  The more she thought about feeling nauseous, the more nauseous she felt. She was surprised at how easily she became nauseous just by thinking about it.  And while relating this story to me, she made the powerful insight that if it was so easy for something as physical as nausea to be evoked by her mind, imagine what else she might be experiencing needlessly by over-focusing on it.  This is a great example of the mind-body connection.

A more extreme version of this is somatization, or the expression of emotional/psychological issues through the body. Psychosomatic conditions present real, measurable physical symptoms, yet they are not entirely the result of a physical problem. Although the symptoms and experiences are caused by the “mind,” the symptoms are in fact quite real, not “imagined.”

Typical psychosomatic symptoms include:

* Getting (and staying) sick while under high levels of stress
* Stomach aches before giving a presentation
* Rashes that break out in response to emotional abandonment
* Aches and pains when feeling tense or anxious
* Bladder infections when angry
* Gastro-intestinal problems that act up when upset

Often pre-existing medical conditions are worsened during times of high stress or anxiety. If left untreated, unaddressed and unexamined, these physical responses can become chronic and have a damaging impact on your health, even leading to life-threatening illnesses like diabetes, heart disease or cancer.

What’s Your Body Trying to Say?

Somatization is a problem and source of frustration for both physicians and patients alike, as the cause is often not readily apparent nor easily treatable.  However, I see psychosomatic symptoms in a much more positive light: once a physical cause is ruled out, there is a wonderful opportunity to listen to what the body is trying to say.

These conditions are being caused by emotional problems that aren’t getting addressed. In turn, the body creates an “alarm signal” to get you to pay attention.  What that signal is, and what it signifies, is up to you to figure out. However, in my experience, there is often a symbolic link between the symptom and the emotional issue; for example, a “burning” infection can often be the body’s way of expressing angry feelings that have no verbal outlet.

Emotional Eating

We’ve all heard the expression “You are what you eat.” On a physical level, our food intake contributes to the health of our heart, our cellular structure, and our overall energy level.  However, on an emotional level, what we choose to eat and why can translate into poor health, excess weight and using food for comfort and to numb pain.

In my work, I always explore what the meaning of food and excess weight is to my clients.  This struggle can be an expression of:

* Feelings of inadequacy
* Unresolved issues from the past
* Depression
* Loss
* A protective barrier against sexuality
* Family of origin issues

Emotional eating is not hard to identify - but it is hard to admit. If you have resolved that you are comfort eating, diets generally will not help. What WILL work is to heal the underlying issues that are causing the excessive eating and thus the excessive pounds.  It’s important to remember that the total well-being of a person requires that attention be paid to the physical and emotional side of things - the two are not separable.

How to Be a Food Snob

I’ll never forget the day I figured out I was a food snob. There I was, sitting in a graduate seminar chatting with a colleague, when she pulled out a granola bar that looked interesting.  I said, “Wow, I’ve never seen that kind before, but then again I never buy granola bars.” And when she replied, “Of course you don’t, you’re a total food snob!”, I was taken aback.  Was this an insult? After a few seconds, I thought, “Yes, yes I am a food snob!” and thanked her for her compliment.

What is a Food Snob?

What the heck is a food snob, you might ask, and why should you be proud to be one? Good question!  A food snob is someone who has an epicurean zeal for high quality, fresh and fancy food.

Here are some of the traits and behaviour patterns of a food snob:

* They prefer to buy their food from specialty shops; bread from bakeries, meat from butcher shops, and nuts and grains from bulk food stores.

* When in a suburban-style mega-grocery store, they mostly avoid the centre aisles, opting instead for fresh produce and dairy.

* They don’t buy things that come in crinkly bags or brightly coloured boxes with cartoon characters on them.

* Whatever they do buy from centre aisles has to be imported from some foreign country and in a glass bottle with a fancy label, thank you very much.

* They love to visit farmer’s markets, and pick out local produce with the eye of a jeweller choosing the finest gems.

* They also love to try new things; the more exotic and unpronounceable, the better.

* When eating out, they get excited by hole-in-the-wall restaurants that serve delicious, unusual, flavourful meals made with high-quality ingredients. What they avoid are fast food and chain restaurants.  There’s something a little bit wrong about being able to get the same meal with the same taste at opposite ends of the continent.

* They take pleasure in going food shopping, taking their time to examine each fruit carefully, ponder the various merits of different kinds of cheese, and fantasize about the meals that will result from this particular trip.

* Cooking is taken to the extremes of an Olympic sport.  Hours are regularly set aside to carefully execute new recipes that result in multi-course meals.  These are most often paired with good friends and good wine.

* They opt for cooking shows over reality TV.

* New recipes passed on by family and friends can often generate a squeal of excitement.

Benefits of Being a Food Snob

There are LOTS of benefits to being a food snob. Here are a few:

* You feel fancy. Feel free to don designer sunglasses and a silk scarf to go shopping with your straw bag (I exaggerate).

* When you buy high quality ingredients, you spend more, but you also eat less and don’t let things go to waste.  Wouldn’t you rather eat a single, hand-made decadent chocolate truffle from a specialty shop than an entire candy bar from a gas station?

* You learn to enjoy grocery shopping rather than see it as weekly (or worse, bi-monthly) excursion to a drab, concrete block of a store that also happens to sell clothing and consumer electronics.

* You support the local economy and local farmers.

* You reduce your environmental impact by trying not to buy things that are excessively packaged.

* You can feel proud to say that you don’t succumb to the advertising industry‘s dictates of what you should eat.

* You never get bored of the same old thing.

* Cooking becomes a fun, creative expression of who you are instead of a grim task to be endured.

* Fewer processed foods means a healthier, slimmer body.

* You might actually get famous if you pull a Julie & Julia.

* Most importantly, REAL pleasure is taken from food, the kind where everything is slowly savoured, fully appreciated and shared with loved ones.

Not everyone can incorporate all of these suggestions at once.  But take a good, long look at how you see food: shopping for it, cooking it and eating it.  See if you can start with a few small changes, like visiting a farmer’s market on your way home once in a while to savour seasonal goodies.  I promise, being a food snob will change your life!

How to Be Less of a Perfectionist and Enjoy Life More

This is the second of a series of two articles that explore the dynamics of perfectionism. In my last article, you learned what perfectionism is and why people develop the need to do things perfectly. In this one, you will learn how to change your perfectionist behaviors and enable yourself to be more satisfied with yourself and your life.

You will have the greatest success if you read the first article and take some time to observe your own perfectionist patterns. Once you have accomplished that, choose a few of the strategies outlined here. Keep working at it until you understand what you need to do to accept your imperfections and humanness.

Create a Support Network for Yourself

Seek out people who are not perfectionists. Encourage your support network to not be rigid or moralistic in their attempts to keep you on an honest course. Look for people who forgive and forget when mistakes, failures, offenses, or backsliding occur. Ask them to tell you when they think you are being rigid, unrealistic, or idealistic in your behavior. Ask them to give you positive reinforcement for any positive change, no matter how small. Seek out people who have a sincere interest in your personal growth.

Do Some Self-Exploration

Explore the following questions in your journal, print this out and make some notes here, or discuss them with a trusted friend or professional counselor:

1. Where do you see perfectionististic behavior in your life?





2. How do these behaviors create problems for you?





3. What perfectionistic beliefs do you have?





4. How do you think these beliefs will affect your ability to change your behavior?






5. What do you need to do to become less of a perfectionist and be more relaxed about things?

6. How can you use your support system to help yourself be less of a perfectionist?

Identify Alternative Behaviors

Make a list of specific perfectionist behaviors that you want to change. For each one, think of something specific you could do instead. For example:

* Perfectionistic behavior: I have to be “perfect” in my diet, eating only what’s “approved,” and can never cheat or slip up.

* Alternative behavior: I can try to incorporate as many healthy meals and snacks as I can, and enjoy a few treats now and then.

Note your own examples here: 




Perfectionist behaviors: 




Alternative behaviors: 

Lower Your Expectations

It is very important to understand that it is unrealistic to expect to change your behavior (or someone else’s) immediately or completely.  Give yourself time and permission to be less than ideal.

Make a List of the Advantages and Disadvantages of Being Perfect

You may find that perfection is too costly. Perhaps you will discover that relationship problems, endless working, and other compulsive behaviors (eating disorders and substance abuse problems) are too high a price for the results you gain from your perfectionist way of being. Can you think of any other disadvantages of being perfect?  Do they outweigh the advantages?

Pay Attention to Your Behavior and Attitudes

As you see yourself behaving in a perfectionist way, take note. In the beginning, just observe yourself. Keep a log if it helps you see your behavior more clearly. You don’t have to make any changes until you have a good idea of your specific behaviors and thoughts.

Try Some New Thoughts and Behaviors

Begin to substitute the alternative behaviors you identified earlier. If possible, ask someone from your support network for feedback. Observe your feelings and thoughts as you try new things.

Review Your Goals and Make Sure They Are Realistic

By having achievable, realistic goals, you will gradually see that less-than-perfect results are not as disastrous as you thought they would be.  Take a step-by-step approach to bigger, or more difficult goals.  For example, if you think you should lose 40 pounds, start with an initial weight loss goal of 10 pounds.  Once you achieve that smaller goal, try another 10 pounds.  You may find that after losing 20 or 30 pounds, you have reached a weight and body shape that is sustainable and satisfying.

Set Strict Time Limits for Your Projects

When the time is up, move on to another task or take a break. I find a timer is especially helpful in keeping track of time and giving you full permission to focus on the task at hand without worrying what time it is.

Make Friends with Criticism

Many perfectionists take criticism personally and respond defensively. If someone criticizes you when you make a mistake, the easiest thing to do is to simply admit it. Remind yourself that you are human, meaning you will sometimes make mistakes. The people who never make mistakes are no longer learning or growing.

Learn to re-frame criticism and see it as information you can learn from. When you let go of the fantasy that humans must be perfect to have value in this world, you are less likely to feel angry or embarrassed when you make a mistake. You will see that criticism is information that you can learn from, and you will no longer need to avoid it.