New website launched!

After much anticipation, I have finally launched my newly redesigned website! In addition to a sleek new look, my website now features a well-integrated blog and a continually growing list of free resources to help you end your struggle with emotional eating.  Be sure to sign up for my newsletter and get my free report, “5 Ways to Get Control of Your Emotional Eating” (look to the right of the screen, near the top). 

If you like the look and feel of this site, I highly recommend the services of Depthskins Design Studio - check out their website at http://depthskins.net/

Does this clutter make my butt look fat?

I think Oprah can read my mind. Just last week I discussed the similarities between compulsive hoarding and compulsive eating, inspired by an episode of Dr. Phil.  Today’s episode of Oprah had my favourite clutter expert Peter Walsh discussing the relationship between excess clutter and excess weight. OK, so maybe she can’t read my mind (after all, Oprah does own Dr. Phil - or at least his show, anyway) but it’s pretty interesting that I’m not the only one who can see a link between the two.

Right at the beginning of the show, they put up a quote that practically had me jumping out of my seat: “Eating more and buying more is an attempt to fill the need for something more.” Yes! This is what I’ve been saying all along. In fact, Walsh has written an entire book on the topic, “Does this clutter make my butt look fat?” Check out his book here.

A couple of things stood out to me during the show. First, this woman kept her treadmill (what she called her “high-tech bag holder") folded up in the kitchen. Can you imagine staring at that thing every time you go into the kitchen for a snack? Talk about guilt-inducing. Walsh couldn’t have put it better when he told her “your treadmill is making you fat.” Because for anyone who’s ever been stuck in the overeating/guilt cycle, just looking at something that makes you feel guilty can lead you to eat. As funny as his statement was, it couldn’t have been more true.

As the family cleared out the their stuff, they kept making comments along the lines of “I’m actually feeling lighter.” It is so important to take your environment, which includes both your physical surroundings and the emotional climate of your life, into account when you examine the context of your weight. If your life is cluttered with stuff, with issues, dramas, stress, problems, unhealthy relationships, etc., then the way you take care of your body is going to reflect that. In fact, Walsh pointed out that a lot of the stuff she had in her house was very similar to the things she ate: cheap, easy and not what she really needs. And what’s more, that stuff represented who she believed she was or who she wanted to be: a baker, a loving mother, the kind of person who actually uses wooden skewers to make beef satay. But instead of being those things, she was just collecting the idea of being them. Ask yourself: how is your environment affecting your lifestyle choices, or representing who you want to be?

I applaud this family for having the courage not just to appear on TV, but to take the steps necessary to finally move past this excessive lifestyle. The woman’s pain was palpable, and her desire to be better and do better was so moving. She finally realized that all of this was about more than just the stuff and the weight, but to some deeper issues that she hadn’t fully worked through. In fact, Bob Greene, Oprah’s personal trainer, put it best when he said that if you don’t focus on the issues underneath, you’ll never lose the weight. Couldn’t have put it better myself.

The next time you feel like skipping a workout, read this…

On my way to the gym today (and for most of the day beforehand), I tried very hard to convince myself that I didn’t really need to go. Because of course, I can always go tomorrow. Because I have approximately 1 million items on my to-do list that are awaiting check marks. Because I’m a little tired. Because Tuesdays are always a long day. Because Oprah’s on. Because I’m hungry. I think you get the picture.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate exercising. I can’t say that it’s the highlight of my day, but nor do I avoid it like the plague. Once I’m there, I’m fine, and I kind of like it too. It’s more that I would rather be doing something else.

I eventually forced myself to go, telling myself I’d feel better if I went. While I was pedalling away on the elliptical, the wheels in my mind were spinning equally quickly. I started thinking about why it is that I can always come up with a million and one reasons for why I can put off my workouts. Why is it that they always feel so optional? As if I’ll only work out if the inspiration hits me, or I force myself, and the second something vaguely more interesting or important comes up, the workout is the first thing to get crossed off my list.

This got me thinking about what kinds of things in my life I consider optional, and which I don’t. Eating is not optional. Neither is going to the bathroom, showering, checking my email, and going to work. But most other things are optional, including watching Oprah. I soon realized that the common thread running through the “non-optional” activities in my life is that they are all necessary in some way or another for survival (except checking my email). If I don’t eat, I’ll die within a few days. I may not die if I don’t work, but if I can’t make ends meet, I won’t be able to buy the food that keeps me alive.

This made me realize that exercise is not really all that optional. The only difference between eating and exercising is that if I don’t exercise for a few days I won’t die. At least not right away. But if I never exercise, I will die a lot younger than if I do. I’m just making up numbers here, but what if working out 3 times a week added 10 healthy years to my life? Wouldn’t I be cursing myself at 60 or 70 when I’m decrepit beyond my years? Wouldn’t it be nice to live longer, and enjoy it too?

The next time I tell myself that I can skip my workout just this once, I’ll remind myself that I’m not really wasting time, I’m buying time. I don’t know if it’ll work, but it’s worth a shot.

Why diets don’t work

Here’s a great article I found about why diets don’t work: click here or go to http://www.register-herald.com/features/local_story_029220702.html?keyword=topstory

The only thing I would add to the end is to take a look at what food means to you. Eating well and exercising are no-brainers, but if you really want to stop dieting forever, you have to develop a healthier attitude towards food.

How obese is America?

Check this out: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/fit.nation/obesity.map/

Scary, isn’t it?

Compulsive hoarding on Dr. Phil

Today’s episode of Dr. Phil focused on people with compulsive hoarding issues. The first guest on the show (and by the way, for the record, I rarely watch the show - I liked him better when he was on Oprah) was a young man with an enormous collection of Star Wars items. He had apparently spent $200,000 building up this collection and his house was filled with the stuff. His wife (understandably) was fed up and wanted Dr. Phil to wake him up. He even admitted that if Star Wars didn’t exist, there would be no reason to be alive.

You have to ask yourself what void this guy is literally trying to fill with all this stuff. There are a lot of reasons that people keep get attached to their stuff, from sentimental reasons to the fear that if they throw something away, they might need it again someday. People collect things because it gives them a sense of safety, belonging, or identity. But in many cases of compulsive hoarding, which is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, it wouldn’t be unfair to say that the “stuff” is a symbol for something that the person feels they’re lacking in their life. So to fill up that feeling of emptiness, they collect and/or keep things that have some special meaning to them, instead of satisfying that need in a healthier way.

In some ways, compulsive eating and emotional eating are similar to compulsive hoarding. In the case of eating, the food represents something that the person feels they are missing, like love, comfort, or a sense of pleasure. And in a very literal way, the extra weight is the extra “stuff” that the person is carrying around. Obviously, this type of behaviour varies, from having a couple of extra pounds and being a bit of a packrat, to being morbidly obese or suffering from the most extreme forms of compulsive hoarding. But wherever you might fall on that continuum, ask yourself: what hunger are you trying to fill?

Book review: Fat Girl by Judith Moore

Although many people struggle with their weight, few have been overweight all their lives. This book tells us exactly what it’s like to have been the “Fat Girl.” A memoir written by Judith Moore, it’s a haunting story that goes deep into the pain, shame, humiliation, and suffering of a person labelled as fat. Although she claims from the get-go that this isn’t a sob story, nor is it an exploration of why she had a weight problem, but from reading her story it is clear she suffered from an emotional hunger.

Rejected by her mother before she was even born, and abandoned by her father soon after, she did not get a good start in life. To make matters worse, she inherited her father’s body type, a man who was obese for much of his life. Her petite mother, whose dreams of becoming a famous singer were interrupted by Judith’s arrival, was repulsed not just by her daughter’s figure so opposite to her own, but by the fact that she reminded her of her ex-husband. Judith suffered terrible physical and psychological abuse at the hands of her mother, whose own mother was a difficult and critical woman. Her lack of love, warmth and acceptance led her to seek comfort from food. However, she also learned to hate food, as her mother put her on one failed diet after another. At times, her hunger was so severe that she began chewing on her own fingers to soothe herself.

As a child, she was teased mercilessly and developed few friendships. This rejection only led to more pain and isolation, and she never developed the social skills necessary for happy relationships. Her childhood was lonely, empty and she was filled with longing for love and acceptance. Her emotional hunger was bigger than her appetite.

Her weight was really just the outward manifestation of her emotional hunger. Partly due to genetics, but also partly a way to cope with her unhappiness, emptiness and need for human connection. This poignant story cuts straight to the heart of what it feels like to carry extra weight, both on the inside and the outside, all your life.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about how a child struggles with weight. It can be difficult to read, as the author’s style is very direct, dealing with raw emotion. It will leave you feeling sad, angry and shocked. But I promise you will never look at another “fat girl” the same way again.