How obese is America?

Check this out: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/fit.nation/obesity.map/

Scary, isn’t it?

Compulsive hoarding on Dr. Phil

Today’s episode of Dr. Phil focused on people with compulsive hoarding issues. The first guest on the show (and by the way, for the record, I rarely watch the show - I liked him better when he was on Oprah) was a young man with an enormous collection of Star Wars items. He had apparently spent $200,000 building up this collection and his house was filled with the stuff. His wife (understandably) was fed up and wanted Dr. Phil to wake him up. He even admitted that if Star Wars didn’t exist, there would be no reason to be alive.

You have to ask yourself what void this guy is literally trying to fill with all this stuff. There are a lot of reasons that people keep get attached to their stuff, from sentimental reasons to the fear that if they throw something away, they might need it again someday. People collect things because it gives them a sense of safety, belonging, or identity. But in many cases of compulsive hoarding, which is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, it wouldn’t be unfair to say that the “stuff” is a symbol for something that the person feels they’re lacking in their life. So to fill up that feeling of emptiness, they collect and/or keep things that have some special meaning to them, instead of satisfying that need in a healthier way.

In some ways, compulsive eating and emotional eating are similar to compulsive hoarding. In the case of eating, the food represents something that the person feels they are missing, like love, comfort, or a sense of pleasure. And in a very literal way, the extra weight is the extra “stuff” that the person is carrying around. Obviously, this type of behaviour varies, from having a couple of extra pounds and being a bit of a packrat, to being morbidly obese or suffering from the most extreme forms of compulsive hoarding. But wherever you might fall on that continuum, ask yourself: what hunger are you trying to fill?

Book review: Fat Girl by Judith Moore

Although many people struggle with their weight, few have been overweight all their lives. This book tells us exactly what it’s like to have been the “Fat Girl.” A memoir written by Judith Moore, it’s a haunting story that goes deep into the pain, shame, humiliation, and suffering of a person labelled as fat. Although she claims from the get-go that this isn’t a sob story, nor is it an exploration of why she had a weight problem, but from reading her story it is clear she suffered from an emotional hunger.

Rejected by her mother before she was even born, and abandoned by her father soon after, she did not get a good start in life. To make matters worse, she inherited her father’s body type, a man who was obese for much of his life. Her petite mother, whose dreams of becoming a famous singer were interrupted by Judith’s arrival, was repulsed not just by her daughter’s figure so opposite to her own, but by the fact that she reminded her of her ex-husband. Judith suffered terrible physical and psychological abuse at the hands of her mother, whose own mother was a difficult and critical woman. Her lack of love, warmth and acceptance led her to seek comfort from food. However, she also learned to hate food, as her mother put her on one failed diet after another. At times, her hunger was so severe that she began chewing on her own fingers to soothe herself.

As a child, she was teased mercilessly and developed few friendships. This rejection only led to more pain and isolation, and she never developed the social skills necessary for happy relationships. Her childhood was lonely, empty and she was filled with longing for love and acceptance. Her emotional hunger was bigger than her appetite.

Her weight was really just the outward manifestation of her emotional hunger. Partly due to genetics, but also partly a way to cope with her unhappiness, emptiness and need for human connection. This poignant story cuts straight to the heart of what it feels like to carry extra weight, both on the inside and the outside, all your life.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about how a child struggles with weight. It can be difficult to read, as the author’s style is very direct, dealing with raw emotion. It will leave you feeling sad, angry and shocked. But I promise you will never look at another “fat girl” the same way again.

Can being depressed shorten your lifespan?

I recently came across a disturbing statistic. The World Health Organization (WHO) has studied a number of factors that reduce both a person’s lifespan as well as their quality of life. The latter statistic is termed Disability-Adjusted Life Years (DALYs), which is basically the number of years of quality life that get taken off because of one factor or another. They calculate these DALYs for each of the different parts of the world, and as you would expect, various diseases like tuberculosis and HIV are near the top of the list for developing nations. You would think that the so-called lifestyle diseases, such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease, would top the list in developing nations. However, you’d be wrong.

Depression is the #1 disease accounting for the greatest number of quality years of life lost in North America. In fact, on average, it accounts for 8.0 DALYs, or years of quality life lost due to the disability caused by the disease. This number is greater for North America than for any other part of the world. And no other country lists it as their top factor. I was astounded not just by the fact that depression topped the list in North America, but by the number of quality years it takes off the average depressed person’s life. Often people think of lifespan as being the number of years they live, but few people consider how many of those years are spent feeling healthy, happy and well. What good is it to live for 100 years if only 60 of those are healthy?

It’s time to start thinking more about quality of life and not longevity. If you or someone you know suffers from depression, this statistic should be enough reason to get out there and get some help. People don’t hesitate to seek help for other health problems, but rarely do so when it comes to their mental health. In fact, it takes on average 5 years for someone to seek help when they’re depressed. All of these factors contribute to the reason that depression is such a personal and social burden (at least in terms of DALYs). And if we factor in people who struggle with their weight and/or eating habits, the likelihood of having other related lifestyle diseases goes up.  This would account for even more DALYs, or years lost. Get a handle on your eating, and get a handle on what’s pushing you to eat (often feelings of depression), and not only will you feel better now, but you just may live longer too.

Drop the rope

For anyone who works, lives or deals with teenagers on a regular basis, you know how easily a power struggle can creep up on you. When I first started working with teens, this completely baffled me. I thought I was young and hip enough for them to consider me to be on their side (what a delusion!), but I would consistently find myself getting into these struggles that I knew I couldn’t win. I had a conversation with a colleague about this and she gave me a tip that would completely change how I approached my work with them.

When you find yourself in a power struggle, caught in a game of tug of war, just drop the rope. If you drop the rope, nobody wins and nobody loses. Don’t try to reason with them, don’t try to bribe, don’t try to force anything. Just let it go. State your point on move on to more productive things. When I tried this approach, it worked amazingly well. Instead of wasting time arguing a moot point, I focused on what was really going on and how to help the teen move past that.

I later realized this approach works with more than just teenagers. It also works with your relationship with yourself. How often do we get stuck in a tug of war between our emotions and our reason? Our emotions are telling us to do one thing (eat that delicious piece of pie!) and our reason is telling us another (you just finished dinner, you’re full, you don’t really need that piece of pie). The struggle is exhausting. What would happen if you just dropped the rope?

When you let go of the struggle between your emotions and your reason, you begin to live more genuinely and peacefully. You listen to yourself, and what you really want. You free up energy to focus on other, more important things. So you eat a sliver of the pie, you savour and enjoy it, and that part of you that wants to make you feel guilty for giving in takes a backseat. Then you move on to more important things.

What does it really mean to be fit?

I’ve recently started getting into yoga, for the first time in many years. I took a class once when I was an undergrad and although I diligently attended classes, I never really enjoyed it (the fact that the class was downtown at the ungodly hour of 7:30 AM might have had something to do with it). Now maybe that I’m older, I find myself patient enough to enjoy its slow, meditative pace, although I definitely have a lot to learn. However, it’s gotten me thinking a lot about what it means to be fit.

I remember reading somewhere once that most people think that to be physically fit is to possess either good strength or endurance. In other words, being able to lift a lot of weight or have shapely muscles (strength), or else be able to run for a long time or have good cardiovascular fitness (endurance), is enough to be considered a fit person. However, true fitness also includes balance and flexibility. What good is it to be able to run or lift weights if you aren’t flexible? Although most people do incorporate some stretching into their routines, balance is by far the most neglected part of fitness. This is why elderly people are so prone to falling. Just like developing good musculature, good balance can also be developed. One of the best ways to develop balance and flexibility is through yoga.

Yoga also increases your sense of self-awareness, which makes yoga an ideal mind-body exercise. It takes a lot of practice and discipline, but that’s the beauty of it. It’s hard, and it can be frustrating, but I find that it’s helping me to develop more tolerance with myself. It teaches you to be patient, and also increases your awareness of your body. Because I’m becoming more aware of my body, I’m also becoming more aware of what I put into it and why. For anyone who struggles with emotional eating (including myself!), having fuller self-awareness can help you make better, more conscious choices about why and how much you eat. And because I’m more in tune with my body, I also find myself wanting to exercise more, whereas going to the gym is usually something of a struggle. This is why yoga is so good for anyone who struggles with food or body image issues - it targets both the body and the mind, which is exactly what I do in my therapy practice. You can never really separate the two, because they’re so intimately intertwined.

Try it. Be patient, give it a fair try, and see what it can do for you. You might be surprised.